


Intimate

by Justcannibalthings



Series: Charlie x Louis [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Lots of Arguing, M/M, Mentions of anti-Semitism, Strong words, disfunctional relationships, mentions of cheating, post cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 22:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14628210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justcannibalthings/pseuds/Justcannibalthings
Summary: Therapy takes its toll





	Intimate

“Be more intimate…” Louis grumbled to Charlie- he already had a cigarette in his mouth and he lit it as soon as the exit was in sight. Nobody was going to see him to fine him anyway. “I know. Don’t expect me to snuggle.” The slightly shorter of the two responded; he no longer really registered the smell of smoke as unpleasant. It was something so familiar now that it just…existed. “I don’t. That was fucking horrible.” Smoke trailed from Louis’ mouth as he spoke, and Charlie stood to his left to stop himself from inhaling it. “Counselling was your idea.” Charlie retorted, unlocking the car and slouching over the roof- leaning on it while he waited for Louis to finish his cigarette. “Yeah. Let’s face it we’re a fucking mess Charlie.” Louis ran his hand over his mouth and cheek for a moment; holding his latest drag in his lungs before speaking on his exhale “I don’t know how else to fix this. I can’t forget.” Charlie looked down at the sleek black of the cars roof, letting out a sigh, “Yeah.”

Louis half paid attention to Amelia as she spoke of her day during dinner- he was, as usual, on his phone answering emails and checking in with work. He had long ago mastered multitasking and was currently eating with one hand, texting with the other, and listening to Amelia explain how she had destroyed yet another pair of tights. “I’m going to start buying them in bulk.” Charlie commented, poking at the chicken on his plate. He had no problem eating kosher meat, he didn’t really care how an animal died. Meat was meat. It still weirded him out that he wouldn’t eat a cheeseburger though. “I’m sorry daddy. I didn’t mean to rip them, but I fell while I was playing. I didn’t cry though, I was brave.” Amelia looked very proud of herself for not crying, and Charlie gave her a warm smile. “Well done Ammy. And its fine, they’re only tights. Not hard to replace.” Amelia was reassured by her father’s words, and silenced herself so she could continue to eat. “Got that contract, he wants to sign Monday, so we should probably get someone to start casting.” Louis looked up from his phone, and Charlie gave I'm a loose nod. “Alright, what is it? Billboards separate or what?” Louis let out a hum- finishing his mouthful before speaking “Yeah. Two billboards, one for streaming.” Louis looked at Amelia- he paused for a moment with his fork in his mouth before looking at Charlie- Who looked at him quizzically, before looking at Amelia, and then back again. “Why are you staring at my daughter like that?” Charlie asked, curiosity and concern blending into one emotion. Louis looked at Amelia as he spoke “Well, the billboards going to be an angelic little girl…” Charlie blinked at him, and looked back at Amelia “You want to put her on a billboard?” Charlie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She had a meltdown if the woman at the check-out said hello to her, and he wanted her to spend a day fucking modelling. Amelia was watching the two of them quietly from her seat, legs swinging as she put a forkful of rice into her mouth. “If she wants to, it might bring her out of her shell.” The two of them kept their eyes on Amelia, who blinked at both of them. She was used to them talking about work around her, she had a feeling sometimes they forgot she could hear them. But she loved them regardless, and they always made her feel safe. She had a feeling they wanted her to speak. “Will I get pringles?” 

Louis sat down on Amelias bed, shifting himself so the book in his hand was angled at her, before looking down at his daughter- who had a tired smile resting on her face. “Comfy?” he asked, and Amelia gave a small nod, yawning as she spoke “Yes daddy.” Louis nodded at her, before opening the book and resting the bookmark behind his finger, pressed against the books cover. “Right, the duchess had just finished her song…” Louis scanned the page for where he had last left it, and began to read once he’d found his spot. “Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!” Louis pitched his voice to sound much too much like his mother for his own liking, signalling the speech “the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke.” Amelia giggled lightly at the voice, head resting on her pillow with a stuffed bear snuggled up to her nose. Louis wondered if she could breathe. “I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen” Louis quoted, once again pitching his voice, “and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her...”

It wasn’t long before he noticed Amelias breath steadying, and he returned the bookmark, putting the book on her bedside table, and flicking on the nightlight that rested on it- jellyfish floated gently and cast a blue hue over his daughters resting figure. Louis leaned over her, giving her a kiss on the forehead and tucking her in, before exiting the room- closing the door quietly behind himself and walking to the bathroom to shower. 

Charlie was lying in their bed, with his laptop resting on his lap when Louis returned to him, peering at the laptop. “Here I was thinking you were working.” He smirked, putting his phone on the bedside table and looking back at his partner. “I am. Amelia needed tights, and we’ve got a kid’s fashion contract so I'm multitasking.” Louis let out an unconvinced hum “You’re buying her more clothes” he replied, furrowing his brow “Don’t buy that its fucking disgusting, she’ll look like fucking orphan Annie.” Charlie looked at Louis “Are we really going to let her do an ad?” Charlie shut the laptop down, and turned himself fully to Louis, who just shrugged. “She’s cute and photogenic. Seems stupid not to use her. Besides one of us will be there, and if she hates it she doesn’t have to do it.” Charlie nodded loosely, sliding the laptop under the bed as he spoke “As long as she doesn’t feel like she has to do it. You’re never here, and she would make herself miserable if it meant spending time with you.” Louis sighed, and rolled his eyes “Don’t start this again. We agreed you’d be the one to cut hours. And I did reduce mine anyway, I only work weekends if there's an emergency. I can’t do what you do Charlie, I have to be at work.” Charlie chewed his tongue for a moment, looking up at the ceiling in irritation; they’d had this conversation so many times. “You think I don’t miss being at work all day? I build that company too, and I'm there 4 hours a day instead of 9 because our kid needs a parent.” Louis scoffed at him “She has TWO. Are you telling me working part time means you aren’t a fucking dad?” Charlie tenses his knuckles “I’m saying she needs to feel like she can depend on you to be there, not flake for work.” Louis gave an angry laugh, sitting up in the bed “One, I do not flake on my daughter. And two, I’m at work so she can have designer dresses, and a warm bed. NOT BECAUSE I’M SUCKING OFF THE STAFF.” Charlie swallowed at Louis’ response- he couldn’t really blame him for bringing it up. He regretted it more than anything else he’d ever done and he was worried that they wouldn’t be able to get over it. He remained silent- steely look in his face as Louis stood up and walked to the window, opening it and taking a cigarette from the box he kept on the windowsill for situations such as this as he spoke “I have put up with SO MUCH of your shit Charlie. And I never get anything from you but venom and bitterness. We used to press each other against the fucking glass. You remember that? You keep fucking doing this shit. You blame me because you can’t fucking communicate. I don’t even think you know what you want.” Louis flicked ash out of the window, staring into the navy sky before turning back to Charlie and awaiting a response. “I didn’t suck anyone off. It was just a kiss, I swear to you. I felt awful as soon as it happened and I stopped it going any further.” Charlie spoke, upset in his voice. “I am getting really tired of fighting. I don’t mind the digs, and the casual anti-Semitism. I actually like it, I really do. But there's supposed to be balance Charlie. There's supposed to be intimacy. I know we joke about not wanting to cuddle, but surely we should want to. Surely you should want to be close to me. You should have come to me, Charlie. You went to the nearest twink who looked at you. You kissed someone else because you wanted affection, instead of coming to your fucking HUSBAND. Fucking hell, Charlie. We might not have the same surname but it still means something. I love you but I'm not getting that back. You just keep justifying your shitty fucking behaviour. You keep letting me down and telling me I'm doing that to Amelia. You bitch that we don’t kiss, but you push me away if I try. You literally push me away, and then stick your tongue down someone else’s throat. Do you know how that feels? Do you even think about what you do to other people?!” Charlie looked at his partner. He just looked at him. He looked tired, he always did but Charlie hadn’t really thought about why; he was at the end of his string. His eyes shimmered in the somewhat dim light of the lamps, and Charlie realised his eyes were watering. He felt cold. Charlie pondered his choices, forcing himself to take a breath. He felt odd, the strange kind of numbness you feel when life feels like it’s moving in slow motion. He knew, in his gut that this was it. Whatever he chose to do now would determine whether or not his marriage was over. He didn’t know how long he’d been silent, probably not long, and yet still somehow an eternity. He didn’t know what it was, maybe the inbuilt human need for contact, but something told him to stand up and walk over to his husband. Charlie wrapped his arms around his partner; Louis gave him a shove, but Charlie resisted- he stood still for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Charlie. “I’m sorry.” Charlie whispered, simple words, but honest ones. 

Louis lay in bed that morning for a long while. It was Saturday, and he didn’t have any plans; it was also the first time in a while he just didn’t want to move. He hadn’t had a particularly restful sleep, and he felt a weird mix of emotions that left his stomach feeling much the same to what he felt when he ate a cheap curry. “Are you awake?” Louis heard Charlies voice, and let out a noise to signify he’d heard him. Charlie sat up, looking to him and speaking again “Last night…I am trying. I just don’t like the touchy-feely stuff.” Louis looked at him with tired eyes, nodding his head “I know. But I need you to suck it up and deal with it. With me, at least.” Charlie took in a breath, letting out a long sigh. There was no malice anymore. Just lethargy. “Maybe the councillor is right.” Charlie spoke, and louis raised a brow, looking at the ceiling “What about?” Charlie shrugged lightly, watching his partners eyes. “We should be more intimate.” Louis closed his eyes for a moment “I’m not having sex with you.” Charlie swallowed, he wasn’t sure how pissed Louis still was on the inside. “Because you don’t want to fuck, or because it’s me?” Louis sighed, sitting up slightly and looking at Charlie “Because every time I look at you all I see is you with someone else, and it’s kind of a turn off.” Charlie nodded at his answer “I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want this to…” Charlie gave anther long sigh, running his hand over his face. Louis looked at Charlie, who clearly found great pain in expressing himself. “I’ll make you a deal Charlie. If you keep trying to be less of a deflective piece of shit, I won’t go anywhere.” Charlie nodded “Deal.” Louis raised a brow, dipping his head and dropping his lips on Charlies- forcing himself to push the idea of him doing this with someone else to one side. Louis could feel Charlie relax a little at the kiss, and pulled his head back, closing his eyes and resting the back of his head on the headboard. “I figured that was better than a handshake.”


End file.
